I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
