Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
