I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
