so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
