No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
