Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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