Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You dont lie about slip and slides
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
