Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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