We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
