I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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