Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
