I'm so fucking centered right now
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
