we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
