I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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