I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize