So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
organizing the empties. That sober.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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