May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
