I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
