No awkward lesbian experiences without me
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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