did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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