Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
