Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize
