then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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