I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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