Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize