he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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