He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
organizing the empties. That sober.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
