Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
