If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
