my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
