As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
