i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
