I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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