just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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