you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize