Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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