She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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