i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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