Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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