office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
