I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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