if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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