Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
