I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize