I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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