Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
someone owes me an orgasm
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
