I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
