What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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