good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
