i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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