So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
