Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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