I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
