I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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