So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
