like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
