Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
