I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Randomize
