I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
