apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
