For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
