i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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