that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
