i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
