i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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