Will you blow on my dice?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
