You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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