he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
