Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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